Vulnerable and Scared

Dear followers and strangers, I know I’ve been absent from connecting and keeping in touch. For that i do apologize. It wasn’t because I no longer cared but life simply got harder and m…

Source: Vulnerable and Scared

Vulnerable and Scared

Dear followers and strangers, I know I’ve been absent from connecting and keeping in touch. For that i do apologize. It wasn’t because I no longer cared but life simply got harder and more complicated. Like an old friend told me before “you think you are going through a lot now, it gets even worse later.” While the words stayed in my memories, it’s only starting to make sense now. I’m asking for help, for all your help. All my life, i stayed away from asking for help but this is something too big to bear. I’am bleeding.
Please take time out of your day to read this and spread the word: gofund.me/69ybqwqs .   Thank you.

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Every Then and Now Life Gets Sweeter

It was just a few years that I read somewhere that the 20’s are full of hardships. Being who I ‘am, I entered my 20’s with my armor on, full of energy and ready to conquer. I was conquering alright but I was also learning along the way. I learned a while ago that there’s no lessons without pain so it wasn’t unexpected. While I was appreciating the new-found freedom that I had and living life in the fast lane, all of a sudden I slowed down. It was as if something had ordered my life to halt to a stop. I was building my path accordingly to the future I saw fit for myself and now I was in a pause mode. My hope was fading, my confidence was slowly slipping through my fingers. After a few weeks, I accepted what had happened. Rather, I forced myself to pause with life and dig a little deeper, like Mama Odie in the Princess and the Frog sang. Soon enough, I was enjoying life at a slower pace. I was doing things that I loved to do since I had time on my hands. Although, sometimes it felt like everything was moving but me, I was attentive, and searching to find clues that I needed to discover. Life has a funny way of working out, even if you don’t see it now, you feel it. And once it has shown you what your eyes were blind to, you will return back to you path wiser.

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Walking Through Life

Routine can be as easy as waking up at seven o’clock in the morning, drinking a cup of coffee and going to work. The next morning, you find yourself doing the same actions: waking up at seven o’clock in the morning, drinking a cup of coffee and going to work. At first, it’s as normal and usual as you can think but as days, nights, weeks, months pass, you start feeling worn out; uninterested. You find yourself out of time to explore the outside world and enjoying the things you are passionate about. It’s a constant cycle unless you find a way to break the cycle. Then you meet a stranger one day and as you engage in a conversation about your life, you realize you are falling into a deep hole. The stranger gives you advice on how it’s so easy to fall into a routine, to be stagnant, or returning to something because it’s safe or familiar. As you return home, you are more aware and alert. You start dreaming and remembering all at once again the goals you set out for yourself and the things you want to accomplish. Sometimes the best advice comes from a stranger. The most difficult task is to keep yourself from going down the hole of emptiness.

Losing You

You see, when I think about it now, there’s no way I could have imagined that I would be here. It’s a whole different world and I have come to be accustomed to it and learn the language, the people and the way the system works. Most of all, I’m living the life I want to and doing things I love; but it came with a sacrifice.

 

     She has just learned that, she would be on a plane soon to meet her family. The thought of it really pleased her because she has always dreamed of a world far away and where things were possible. At the time she was smitten with this particular boy and most of the evening they would meet and talk and among other things. Although, it was clear that soon she would be leaving and they wanted to make the most of the remaining time they had. She never saw him again after that.

   

        Somehow you have become a part of me. The funny thing is you don’t see it coming; it just comes and goes. Sometimes I wish I could see you again but out of anger I made it clear I didn’t want to see you again. So, you granted my wish. You moved me to a different place in my heart and nevertheless I’m not the same anymore. “Be patient,” you said, “Be careful,” you said and at the end of the night you always said “Bye.”

      It was a restless night. She couldn’t sleep and she knew well why. While, her friend couldn’t comprehend her actions, confrontation was never in her demeanor. So at the wake of dawn, she woke up…

The driver was pestering her with questions about her hometown and life and all she could think of was a dream. A dream she dreamed about, that no longer will things be the same as they never are.

Life is a constant change. Embrace it.

 

 

 

 

Are you learning from your mistakes?

There comes a time or certain moments when one has to take a time out and just reflect on them-self. Perhaps, asking yourself questions like: what you really want out of life? Are you happy with yourself? What kind of negativity you need to cut out of your life? How can you better yourself as an individual or someone you love? The answer to those questions is not an easy path to understand. It takes repeating mistakes to finally uncover the answer. I have always been the type to take a break after going through something major in life; and at my age a lot of major things get thrown at you often. Usually, I go back and try to understand and examine the situation; which I think is critical to do,especially, after a failed relationship(s) instead of jumping back into another one. The first step in correcting your patterns is admitting and accepting the faults in you. It’s who you are, only now, you are trying to learn how not to hurt yourself or the people you love. Mistakes are essential to life. They become lessons that we learn from to become who we are meant to be in the future. Although, I do believe we only get limited chances to keep repeating the same mistakes. The sooner you learn from them, the better. Sometimes it takes awhile but that’s okay but once you realize it, don’t keep touching the fire. Just like everyone in this world, it’s hard for me too to comprehend some things or learn from them and some things are easier to understand. Everyone subjects is different with various levels of difficulties. So my question for you guys today is:

Are You Learning Your Lessons?

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Young, Lost and…Clueless

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Just like a puzzle,

You are yet ready to be finished,

Different sizes, different shapes,

You are looking for a place, a spot to fit in

You are the solver yet,

Your eagerness dissipate as the hours pass

Agitated, frustrated yet

Cool and Calm

You are ready to give up

But wait! This piece fits!

Focused, you are ready yet again,

To give it another try

Your patience is tested,

Anger and loss will be your teacher,

But discovery awaits,

Slowly pieces come together

And the key to love,

Is the last piece of the puzzle.